Imposter syndrome can occur to us all. Whether it’s in your working life, your home life or within your friendship group, we can often get this overwhelming feeling that we don’t belong or that we are fraudulent in that situation. With this feeling, it’s easy to assume we don’t deserve the accomplishments that happen to us; it can be difficult to comprehend that age-old question of ‘Why me?’
As a business coach, I meet many people who suffer from this, so know that you are never alone. When you feel like an imposter I can guarantee someone around you will have also felt those very same feelings. It can be quite a damaging time and difficult to see the other end of, especially in business, but know that the light at the end of the tunnel is there. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a self-employed sole business owner or you’re the head of a large company, it can hit us when we least expect it. It’s all about learning how you can overcome it when it comes.
Talk About It
The first step in almost every situation is to acknowledge how you’re feeling and verbalise it to someone that you trust. Saying things out loud and sharing your feelings is a sure way to feel the weight has been lifted, even if it is ever so slightly. Whether you discuss what you’re going through with your boss or a group of friends, you’ll more than likely discover that they’ve felt similar feelings too and gain some reassurance from that.
Fact & Fiction
The next step is to separate reality from what is going on inside your head. This is a task that is often used in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy because it helps people to see which bits of their thinking are real and which just an opinion. Try this: write down exactly how you’re feeling, what’s happened to make you feel this way and other things that are associated with the situation. Go through them and mark which ones are without a doubt a fact and which are how you feel.
See The Positives
When you feel like an imposter, it can be almost impossible to see the positives, but they are there; it is just a matter of searching for them and bringing them to the light. Think about the work that you’ve done recently, the feedback you’ve had from customers or the last ‘well done’ you received from your superior. You may be feeling like an imposter because you recently got a promotion; consider the reasons why you were chosen and remember that it is a positive thing for you.
Change The ‘What If’
‘What if I fail? What if I can’t do it? What if they hate it?’ are all negative ‘What If’ thoughts and when going through something like imposter syndrome, it can be easy to go straight to them. Try and reverse those thoughts into positives such as, ‘What if I do succeed?’. Changing your mindset when feeling like this is crucial. Whether you have friends, colleagues or a business coach to help you along the way, changing your way of thinking is key.
Remember, you are not alone when you suffer from imposter syndrome. Especially throughout our careers, we can encounter moments where we feel like we don’t belong or that we shouldn’t have got that pay rise or promotion but 99% of the time, it’s most likely that you deserved it. Talk about it, consider the positives and above all work to change your mindset.